Spring is here!
Have
you ever looked around and took a good look at what happens in the springtime? Well
every year I do. I sit back and watch the flowers bloom, the rain wash the filth
away, and the weather getting warmer. It’s beautiful, just plain beautiful. It
also appears that people pegged their seasons wrong; the term “cuffing season”
which takes place in the winter seems to go for double glory in the spring. New
relationship statuses roll in every 5 minutes on Facebook; pictures of couples
walking hand in hand are uploaded on Instagram by the masses. I am a sucker for
love. It brings joy to my heart to see people happy and in love. While I enjoy being on the sidelines rooting
for the team, I often wonder when the coach will put me in the game.
Roll out the notepad!
I have
been single for almost six years. I have had two boyfriends in my whole life (one
on and off for 6 years since age eleven and one my sophomore year in high school
for three months) I learned a lot about myself over the time of being in those
relationships. I acquired great knowledge about the type of man I want in my
life and have turned those facts into a list. . I don’t want to lose you so I
will not even speak about what’s on the list in detail. This list describes my
ideal man to a T! It includes His Height, build, ambition wealth, relationship
with God, etc. The list just keeps going and going like the energizer bunny. I
have realized through friends and family that my standards are too high. I
require too much, too soon. I have never had a date in my life and I’m sure if
I had one that list wouldn’t get me to the appetizers. I have learned to relax. I cannot control
everything
Singleness is HARD!
It is
not easy to go through five adult years in college without a significant other.
College is the place that high school advisors swore up and down you would
find your friends for life and your mate. Well friends (check) - - even though
I had great friends before college. Mate— FAIL. I have talked to a couple of
people in my college years. Even though I vowed to tuck away my list, I felt as
though my standards and morals were there to stay. Its one thing to say “I
guess he doesn't have to be six feet or taller” but Honey Boo Boo, I can never
see myself saying “I guess it’s cool that he doesn't believe in Jesus”. It’s just not happening. Some things I can’t overlook.
I knew upon leaving college – an elevated version of the hood, that my problem
was that I expected these boys to value women when their pants were under their
behinds. I wanted them to wait till marriage but I came off foreign because a
lot of the girls in my school were ready and willing. Now that I have been
exposed to the real world I know that I don’t even have time for a relationship
right now. Between work, school and church; I don’t think I would be physically
or emotionally available to any man. While my desire to be in a committed and
healthy relationship formed by God is still there, I must work on me. I have
been expecting so much all these years and never once thought about what a man
I find ideal, finds ideal. So it may not be this spring or next spring that my
prince charming appears. It might not be in the springtime at all. However, whoever and wherever he is I want to be ready when he arrives. Fully blossomed to my best
potential and all stressed washed away.
