Temptation, in my opinion, is the offspring of curiosity being early and reality showing up late. If you allow me to be transparent I'll explain why I feel this way. Have you ever been tempted? Do you sometimes feel as though it is impossible to avoid stumbling into the temptation?
The truth is I have felt this way my whole life. My mom will tell you how curious I was as a child. I always wanted to know the 'why's' and 'how's' of life. The worst thing someone could do was to tell me I couldn't do something. My curiosity wanted to get to the bottom of why they wanted me to keep from the "off limits".
I distinctly remember my mother instructing me not to touch the stove. She had just finished cooking and didn't want me to get burned. She didn't say that though. So I asked why but she had already moved on feeling like her warning was enough. The reality was that the stove was in fact dangerous. It could burn my skin right off! But my curiosity wanted me to figure the truth out. I didn't like being kept in the dark, so as soon as she went away, I touched the stove. I have never hollered louder!! When my mother ran to me, I stopped screaming and told her I stubbed my toe. Why did I lie? In the natural, my curiosity had just caught up with my reality and now it was time to take my consequences. But the truth is that temptation opens the door for all of its friends. So not only was I disobedient, I was a liar as well.
I still had to deal with the consequences, not only did I burn my finger, that finger got infected due to lack of proper treatment. Temptation always seems sweet. But once reality sets in, the consequences leave a bitter taste in your mouth.
So why do we keep going back for more? Well, we, in our brains, dumb-down the impact of the consequence. We don't need the things we are tempted by and that is always proven by the reality of consequence, but the sweetness of temptation always tries to get its foot in the door via peer pressure, curiosity and yes DESPERATION.
I did promise you transparency right? Well here it goes. Since the getting burned by fire incident, I made myself a promise to look before I leap. As I got older I began to be tempted by different things. One of them being pornography. Pornography has been a problem for me since I was 7. I started out being just being curious. No one had to warn me of the off limits, I just didn't respond well to things appearing off limits. So I saw a trunk of my father's and I took a peak. What I saw then would change my life forever. Porn for days. That sight of VHS tapes and Magazines opened the door to deeper curiosity. Why didn't my dad leave them with his other tapes and magazines?
From then I would swipe tapes from wherever I could find them. Looking back I feel like this temptation was no longer a temptation trying to entice me from the outside but an addiction growing on the inside. My reality shifted as I got older. I had made the decision to save myself for marriage and had convinced myself that watching pornography and all that it came with would help me with that decision. I would go through the motions every single day just to end up feeling like I was hurting God. But I didn't know how or why. I understood fornication as sex before marriage. It wasn't until I learned that it was so much more, that I would decide 16 years later that enough was enough. I was hurting God and cheating on my future husband. I am still tempted today, but I have realized the reality and grew out of that curiosity that hurt so many people in my life, including me.
What we're the consequences of this temptation turned into addiction? It left me treating people the way I always hated feeling. I kept this secret from everyone. That area of my life was marked "off limits" for years. I couldn't be in relationships because once guys found out about my addiction, they would assume that I was willing to have sex, but I wasn't. The friends that this temptation brought my way were lust, homosexual thoughts, lying and bitterness. I am now a firm believer in avoiding temptation altogether. Not only because the bible says to "flee from temptation", but because I didn't flee and caused myself damage.
Today through Christ I am freed from the bondage I was in. I am no longer a slave to pornography, its friends, and the guilt it brings.
II Timothy 2:22 NKJV
Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
Be and Stay Blessed Everyone.
